The Job Hunt

I have been in my new home for one week. Today I had my first interview. I applied to be in the temp pool for Accountemps. As my accounting education is still a work in progress it has been tough for me to figure out what types of jobs my experience and education actually qualify me for. So it was with great relief when I remembered Accountemps this last weekend and checked out their website. Among the selling points of the company is their promise to help place you in the jobs that are a good match for you. I submitted my application Sunday night. Monday afternoon the call came to schedule an interview and so today at 2:20 I set out to the corner to catch bus 9 to ride downtown. It was such a pleasant ride into work to sit back and take in the impressive sight that is the city center of Portland. No need to deal with traffic or paying for parking. Just sit back and relax...or sort of.

Frankly job interviews and the related ilk make me nervous and very reflective upon my past. I don't mean to digress or have this blog turn into the sort of introspective, whining blog that I can't stand nor have any place in life writing but I will say this about an important flaw in my being. I was thinking about this sort of thing a lot on the ride...what my honest response would be if asked about what my greatest weakness is. This is the conundrum that is me. I'm fully aware of the many talents and gifts I have been blessed with and yet for some reason I can't ever seem to trust myself to take significant risks- I don't ask more women out, I don't jump objects more than one body length above the water, I don't do anything that requires me to be out of my depths...and then I pull a stunt like moving to Portland. That was part of the reason for a move. To physically remove myself from almost everything I had ever known or grown comfortable with. So I decided that was going to be my answer when the question was asked. That I don't trust my own abilities enough to accept and overcome new challenges often enough. The big irk to me is that I always want to believe that with self-realization comes victory and yet how far I am removed from any signs of permanently overcoming my significant aversion to risk.

So I went into the interview and it went well. Then I took some accounting aptitude tests and cringed every time I missed one and imagined the recruiter tsk'ing at me as my scores came in sub-par. The interview and tests lasted about an hour and a half and then I found myself in the lobby while the recruiter raved about how incredibly strong my performance was. Everything was way above the averages that the Portland office sees. Well into the 90th percentile. So, while she explained to me about how excited she was to be able to get me out in front of companies so that they could offer me at the least temporary employment if not a permanent job, I stood half paying attention telling myself I told you so. That, again, I'd done all this fretting for nothing. That I need to get past this fear of failing because, while I'm sure there will be plenty of failures inevitably, my fear of it has prevented and is preventing me from many successes in life. Needless to say I beamed the whole walk back to the train and the ride home.

Now hopefully I can build on this small win and turn into a really sweet job!

The Weekend

Saturday morning began with waffle eating ber at Julia's. Then we were off for some berry picking at Sauvie Island. Our crew picked raspberries, marionberries, blueberries, green beans, and lettuce. Afterwards, we reaped some of the benefits of our labors with some freshly made marionberry crisps, vanilla ice cream and coffee. Delicious. Then it was back home for Tim and I long enough to cook and eat some dinner before we headed off on the MAX to the Oregon Brewer's Festival.

The event was held down by the river in the same waterfront park where Obama had his rally that 100,000 people showed up at. We got there with only an hour and a half until closing and by the time we met up with Julia's circle of friends had very little leftover to really check things out. The cost of entrance is free. At that point, you are free to explore and freely sample four different types of root beer offered by a group who is in attendence to speak out about the dangers of alcohol. Or you can buy a mug and tokens. A mug will cost you $4 and each token is a $1. 1 token gets you a sample of any beer present (a sample is about half the mug) or for 4 tokens you can get your mug filled. Obviously the system favors sampling which I would assume leads to the brewer's real long term goals of having new customers discover their drinks. There were long lines and then when you got to the front- informational displays detailed the specifics of each drink. I don't know if it was the time of day that we arrived or the general habit of the crowd but it seemed like most of the attendees were much less concerned with being beer connoisseurs as they were with partying with their friends. Such is to be expected I guess.

We came back and watched half of Into The Wild. This morning, we tried our first church, Imago Dei. The church meets in a neat, old high school facility. The skies were dreary and cold and inside the school's auditorium the congregation felt similar. It's a church which is very similar in style to RockHarbor but with more diversity in the age demographic. It'll be worth going back to check out again even if my first impressions weren't the most favorable. The rest of the day will probably be devoted to cleaning up around the place and getting ready for the week which will include a trip to see The Dark Knight, the first visit of our parents and, hopefully, employment.

First Friday

We established our Internet connection this evening. The past few days have been very full. Plenty of household acquisitions at places I have seldom darkened the door of in the past: Linens-N-Things, IKEA, Pier 1. Having a mall directly across the street makes for easy outings and it's pleasant to be able to go for a while and when you get tired of shopping (as I do easily) know you can return later without it being a big ordeal.

The weather so far has been very nice. The first few days were overcast and cool but the clouds burned off around early afternoon and then sunny and clear until it gets dark a little after 9 pm. The past couple the mercury has pushed into the low 90s and we have been fortunate to live up on the 4th floor where the breeze seems to be regular and easily cools off our place.

The city has (at this very early date) fulfilled what I was hoping for in moving. Since I pulled into the parking garage on Tuesday morning I have only had to drive one time. Instead there has been plenty of walking and when needed we can board the bus or MAX line and ride to the west side of town for free. Each night, Tim and I walk to the neighborhood Safeway and buy groceries. It's a pleasant walk and being able to get food only a quarter of a mile away makes cooking seem less daunting. I'm not sure why that is exactly. Perhaps because you walk out having spent only a few dollars and can carry your food home instead of the massive trips we used to have to take when I lived in Orange. Cooking has been one of the big, early surprises. I never did a lot of it when I lived in Orange because I didn't know how to cook for one person. It's been a pleasure though as we have created some delicious meals so far and I've found it very fulfilling to improve upon a skill I've always felt insecure about. In a few more weeks, I don't think I'd have any problem cooking for a special lady. I have a recipe for shrimp and Spanish rice that I would like to create but I'm afraid I may have to wait awhile as Tim doesn't think he'd like it too much.

I've established several routines. The aforementioned dining and a workout routine which has helped us pass the time. Now that we have the various Internets at our disposal I hope that I'll be able to find employment soon. Work- the ultimate routine.

All in all, I would describe the move as a resounding success to this point. Though I'm sure the unbridled enthusiasm will dampen with time I've felt a great burst of energy which I'm going to try and capture in some fashion in my to-do list and in future posts. It's strange how I've found myself experiencing various emotions/feelings throughout the day which have been dormant for most of the past 5 years. So dormant in fact that I'd forgotten they were even gone. A renewed sense of confidence and purpose. I'm sure there are several of you reading this who are thinking about all the times they tried to remind me of these things missing from my life. Well, rest assured, they are back.

Another of these absent feelings which has returned is a sense of loneliness. I'm sure it's enhanced by the fact that I've spent most of my social time over the past few days with a couple of lovebirds but I've found myself really wanting a special someone of my own to experience all of these new discoveries with. A hand to hold as I explore this new home of mine. I saw Wall-E tonight which may not have helped much in that regard either. Tomorrow, I'm headed to some nearby island with my brother, his girlfriend and a couple of her girl friends to pick berries. Then perhaps a visit to the Oregon Brewers Festival which is apparently the BIG deal in town this weekend.

Here are some pictures I took of our place earlier this week. A few of them will need to be updated as soon as I can get my hands on my brother's camera again.

The Oregon Trail

I departed Sunday night and left home for Fresno. It was not nearly as difficult a task as I imagined it might be. Arriving in Fresno I spent the night at my friend Loren's new house and was reminded of just how much things have changed in the years since we first became friends and yet in spite of that the bond between us remains as strong and as easy to resume as ever.

I left on Monday after lunch and assumed that I'd arrive in Portland shortly after midnight. As I approached Sacramento, I began to read signs notifying me of the closure of the Golden State Freeway in Sacramento. Surely this was wrong I told myself. At home when they fix the freeway, they close down a few lanes but never the entire road. But lo and behold, in Sacramento, Caltrans operates a bit differently. So as I cruised into Sacramento at 5 pm, I found myself in traffic congestion that would give Southern California a run for its money. The detour route was poorly marked and despite the best efforts of Matt Minegar and all the power of the internets I managed to turn the wrong way and head toward Reno instead of San Francisco. Several traffic-jammed miles later I began to sense that I was on the wrong road. After a short-sidetrack I found myself in Sacramento's downtown which is a really confusing place. So in addition to driving a grid I had never experienced before in a truck with a couch in the bed creating a huge blind spot. Attempting to call for help (hands free of course) I ended up driving down a one-way street the wrong way and nearly ran over a poor guy who was trying to keep me from making the wrong turn I was in the process of. Finally with the help of Mark, Kelli, David and Nat I managed to make my way back to the 5.

On the open road, it was smooth sailing but I had lost at least 2 hours on my drive and so spent the rest of the time travelling through some very beautiful country in the dead of night. Somewhere around midnight I decided to pull off the road and spend the night at a hotel. As I walked into the lobby, ready for a shower and a good night's sleep I was informed that my dream would cost me $95. In my mind, I decided driving all night wouldn't be so bad. The woman asked me if I was a AAA member. I responded that I was but left my card in my truck. Techinically true. I turned and left and the woman watched on- puzzled as I got back in my truck and drove away. In my mind, I imagined a very funny movie scene where I revved the engine, skreeched the tires and ran into something in my escape.

In reality I drove on and found a cup of coffee at a McDonald's that was still open. Through the night, my only real diversion was trying to think of funny parallels I could draw between the only computer game every child of the 80s ever played and my own journey to Oregon. As I crossed the Willamette River at 4 am I stared to my left at downtown Portland shimmering back at me. The bridges, the river, all the lights...I live here now I realized. What a surreal and beautiful feeling. Within in two hours, I found my place, parked, unpacked and fell asleep.

Not the easiest of treks to Oregon, but hey, at least, I didn't die of dysentery.

Borrowed Time: Three Days to Go

My brother and his girlfriend left this morning. Destination: Portland, Oregon. It's the first moment of recognition for me. His room is empty. The occupancy of the house has dropped by one.

I'm thrilled by the prospect of living elsewhere. A big city where it rains and yet at the same time sympathize with my parents and grandparents as they adjust to a change in a situation which has been more or less the same for the last 24 years. I struggle with the way that almost all of my friendships will be altered by this choice I'm making. I don't think it's a right or wrong/good or bad choice but it's going to change my life regardless. As Steve Zissou says at the end of Life Aquatic, "This is an adventure." Indeed.